The receptionist at Jack’s office had been busy all afternoon taking calls from reporters about the Human Rights complaint. That suited Jack just fine, as that kept his boss, Walter Cranston busy and left him alone to review Library Standards complaints and possible violations. He thought this was one of the more tedious and insignificant parts of his job, as ninety per cent of the complaints were ridiculous. One man complained that a library in Ferguson’s Corners was too loud, and that the noise level surpassed the regulation decibel level. Another complained that the library in Halicon was too quiet. One was wondered why more writings from the Marxist scholar Professor Ludwig von Gimmel was not included. Clearly a biased system. Another asked why the writings of conservative columnist Patty Lou Patrowski were not stocked. The library was the fifth column for a communist takeover.
And so on.
Jack got sick of reading through these whiny complaints and sat back in his chair. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was almost quitting time. He sighed with relief. It was almost time to go see Tori.
Walter Cranston barged into his office unannounced and closed the door hastily, as if he had escaped the crowd. He looked at Jack. “The Minister is not happy.”
“So what else is new?” wondered Jack as he feigned reading the complaints. He couldn’t stand Walter’s melodramatic voice.
“We’re getting unwanted media attention. They think
we committed this Human Rights violation.”
“It’s an allegation. Any jerk could file one.” Jack turned his back to Walt.
“And he’s getting questions in the Legislature.”
“So?”
“If my Minister is not happy, my Director General is not happy. And if he’s not happy, he will make me very unhappy, if something isn’t done about it.”
“So what’s he gonna do? “
“They’re contemplating new guidelines for the book selection process.”
Jack put his head in his hand. “For one complaint?”
“That one complaint is embarrassing the government.”
“It’s media-driven bullshit. Who says he did anything wrong?”
“He pissed off a feminist. He’s as good as guilty.”
Jack scoffed in disgust. There is a misperception among the public that civil servants love rules and regulations. The truth is: nobody hates bureaucracy like a bureaucrat. That certainly was the case with Jack. The Library Standards Commission put bread on his table and he loved working for the government. But more regulations meant more complaints; and more complaints meant more work; and more work meant more headaches and more effort. So long as he had a job, Jack Welland was content to be left alone and let people do as they please.
He was rather libertarian that way.
“Oh, by the way, you’re coming with me tomorrow morning,” Walter announced.
Jack turned around “Where to?”
“The New Concord Municipal Library.”
“What the hell for?”
“Surprise inspection.”
“Surprise inspection?” Jack couldn’t remember the last time he had been on one. “They’re concerned about following regulations all of a sudden?”
Walter was about to walk out the door. He turned to Jack and said “You better believe it.”
“What about our budget meeting?”
“Cancelled, “said Walt. And he stepped out.
Jack turned off his computer and left his office. When he got to the car, he pulled his cell phone and dialed up Harry’s direct line at the library.
“Harry? It’s Jack. Listen, you’re not supposed to know this, but tomorrow I and Walter Cranston will be paying you a surprise visit, if you know what I mean…”
“A surprise inspection?”
“You said it, not me. Walt told me the Minister is not happy about this feminazi complaint. I suggest that you work real hard to get everything in order. “
Harry hung up and swore to himself.
Just as he was about to start his car, Jack’s cell phone rang. He answered it. It was Barb.
“Jack, I have to take the kids to the hospital.”
“Is it serious?”
“Not very. Jeremy and Brian were fooling around on the front stoop and he managed to cut a gash above his eyebrow and I think Brian sprained his ankle.”
Jack sighed. Why did these boys always have to fight? Why couldn’t they get along like normal people? “Will you be okay by yourself?”
“I think it’s serious enough that they won’t let me wait. You’ll have to scrounge for your own dinner.”
“That’s quite alright, Barb.”
The good news was that he would have more time with Tori. Which is what he needed, given all the tension in his life?
…
For the better part of the afternoon, Tori had been rolling around in her Murphy bed sobbing uncontrollably. That morning, she woke up feeling nauseous, and she was still expecting her period. She made her way to the dollar store to buy a cheap pregnancy test. When it turned up positive, she couldn’t believe it and made her way to the pharmacy and spent fifteen dollars to get a top-of-the line brand.
And it confirmed her worst nightmare.
This was not supposed to happen! She protested to herself.
How? What am I going to do? She looked at the alarm clock on the night stand. He would be arriving soon. She had to pull herself together to figure out what she was going to say. She didn’t feel like keeping this to herself. It was news that was too important to keep a secret. He would figure out something was bugging her anyway.
She sat up and tried to stop the hiccupping.
If only Jack weren’t married, maybe…maybe this could work. He’s a family man…The thought of a lost opportunity made her cry again.
If only he weren’t married! She stopped herself again. She had to think. Was there any way she could have this baby?
Would it fair to the baby to bring him into the world when Jack and I aren’t together? Would it be fair to bring him into the world when I don’t even have a good job?
And what about Jack? Is it fair to saddle him with another kid? He already has two.
And what about society? Is it fair to expect society to pick up the tab for his upbringing? Canada is a generous country, but generosity has a price.
And what about the Earth? Overpopulation is a plague. Too many people creating garbage, polluting the air and putting a strain on the planet’s limited resources. That’s a recipe for social unrest.
All her questions pointed to one answer.
She began to cry all over again. She had pictured getting pregnant in a time in her life when she was settled; not while she was young and still pursuing her dreams.
She went to the bathroom to wash her face and put on some make up before Jack arrived.
Just as she had finished gliding the lipstick across her mouth there was a knock and the front door opened. “Tori, it’s me.”
When she stepped out of the bathroom, Jack’s lips lunged at her face and his hands dug deeply into her frizzy yellow hair. He pushed her all the way to the bathroom wall, kissing her so hard she couldn’t reciprocate.
Finally he let her take a breath while he kissed her neck repeatedly. “Jack…I have something to say to you…”
“I love you, too, “he mumbled with his mouth full.
“No, I need to talk.”
He lifted his head. “Can it wait?”
“I don’t want to wait.” She freed herself from his grasp and sat on her Murphy bed.
He followed her out of the bathroom. “What is it? Are you late with the rent? “
“No, it’s more serious than that.”
He sat beside her. She stifled the tears. “What’s the matter? “ He drew her into a hug.
She sat back up. “I’m…” She paused. She tried to bring herself to say the word.
“…Pregnant.”
Jack’s eyes lit up. He swallowed. “Have you thought of…”
Afraid that his surprise would turn to anger, she looked up. “Don’t worry Jack,” I’ll take care of it.”
His eyes dimmed. He was sad at his own relief.
“You’re okay with that, right?”
“It’s entirely up to you, “he said, a little hurt. “ I would never second-guess your choice.”
“I would have kept it quiet, but…” Her eyes welled up and she wiped the tear off her cheek. “ I just…I just had to tell you. Keeping this inside of me. You just don’t know what it’s like. I can’t tell anyone. Not a soul. I don’t want them to know. How did this happen? It wasn’t supposed to. I feel like such a fool. A stupid fool who should have known better, except I did everything I knew how to do. And now it’s come to this.”
“Don’t feel so bad, hun, “he said as he hugged her. “It happens all the time. “
“I feel responsible. I wish—I wish we could have this baby. I wish, somehow, it was possible.”
Jack’s heart raced. “That’s not in anyone’s best interest, “he said calmly.
“I know that all too well. “ She got up and looked out the window. “I just think…” She looked down. “You make a great dad.”
He was touched.
“You know, my dad wasn’t around much for me. I only saw him every other week. And I would never want to bring a child into that situation. I want my kids to have a dad in the house. Not a part-time dad. My dad meant well but…he just wasn’t there for me sometimes, you know?”
Jack slid up on the bed and lied down on his back. Tori lied down next to him. “I’m so glad you’re here for me, “she said.
She began to express her feelings about having fallen pregnant at this time of her life, and how she would have liked to have had a child but this was not a good time, and how she really wished she did not need to have an abortion, and how this was all so very painful to her. And her words circled back to the same refrain. She was so glad that Jack was there to hear her verbal catharsis.
Jack’s mind drifted back to when she told him she was pregnant. For half a second, he was happy. The happiest he had been in a long time. Perhaps this could have been his lucky chance and he would have had his little girl.
It was all too bad. But that’s the way things were. No use complaining about them, he figured. That’s the way they had to be, for everyone’s sake. It was just a silly, frilly dream. Still. It was all too bad.
His mind drifted further and further way from the conversation—or monologue, as it were—until a soft snore buzzed from Jack’s mouth. Tori did not stop talking long enough to notice. Another snore roused him from unconsciousness. He slurped the saliva from his lips. How long had he been asleep? He looked at his watch. Not very long.
She turned around and looked at him. “You are such a good listener. It’s so nice to have one’s feelings taken seriously.”
“Anytime. But, I’m afraid I’m going to have to be going, “Jack announced as he sat up.
“So soon? “
“Barbara…took the boys to the emergency…”
“Oh no! “
Jack shook his head. “It’s not…” He paused. “It might be a long night.”
“Of course. Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“Because…I had you on my mind.” He headed to the door.
“Your kids need you, Jack. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay.” She said as she followed him.
He turned the doorknob. He turned around for one final goodbye. She pecked him on the nose. “And Jack…thanks for being there for me. It meant a lot.”
“Any time, “he said. “Have a good night.” And he stepped out the door.
Tori felt very lucky to be dating such a man.
…
Jeremy and Brian came home with their mother later that night. The trip to the hospital did not dampen the boys’ spirits. Jeremy got his stitches, which was somewhat scary and painful, but he got over it fairly quickly. Brian hobbled on a cane. His sprain was not very serious and he would be normal in a week. They were teasing each other as if nothing had happened. Barb told them to go upstairs and get to bed because there was school the next day.
Barbara followed the boys and found Jack looking at the kids’ photo albums on their bed. He looked at the baby pictures and remember how fascinating and exciting it was to bring home a new baby. Their gurgles were so cute. Their antics made them laugh. Jeremy used to climb anything and everything. Brian always pulled the toilet paper roll.
Barb sat down next to Jack and gave a quick summary of their hospital visit.
“I’m so glad we have kids, “he said still looking at the photos. “People who don’t have kids don’t know what they’re missing. “He put his arm around her.
“You’re huggy, huggy, tonight, “she commented.
“What’s the matter? Can’t a man hug his wife?”
“Touchy.”
He let go.
“I didn’t say to stop hugging me. “
He felt a bit dirty hugging his wife. But he was in that kind of mood.
Barbara got up to put her nightdress on. She began to disrobe. Jack hadn’t seen her undress in many months. She unbuttoned her shirt with her back toward him. The flesh sagged and jiggled with every step. She took off her pants and her underwear did not cover her behind all the way. He mentally winced at the dimples in her butt; they made him think of the craters in the moon. And those knees. They weren’t knees, they were hubcaps. Her thighs quivered with every step of that pachyderm-like leg of hers, as she went to the closet to get her nightdress.
She could not put that nightdress on fast enough.
She sat on her side and pulled the blankets over her. She reached into the drawer of the nightstand and took out a book. Jack took off his pants and shoes and got into bed.
Notwithstanding her flab, Barbara’s presence comforted Jack because she exuded the warmth of a Mama Grizzly when she was next to him. He needed that warmth now. It was the reassurance of stability, that all things would turn out alright. His disappointment at the turn of events at Tori’s apartment still lingered. He harboured a vague feeling of regret, and the domesticity of his household comforted him.
Barbara was such a good wife. A really good mother. Such a rock. What would he do without her? He was so grateful for her, and that she gave birth to their two sons.
He was happy to have Tori, too. It’s just that having two women in one’s life complicated matters. Both brought their strengths to his life.
Both brought their challenges.
This